I know for sure that whoever is reading this can agree that making friends at any stage of life is hard. And honestly, it might be even harder as an adult when you are technically supposed to have it all figured out. Unless you are at work or school, where people are literally placed around you, forming new connections in the real world feels like trying to crack a secret code. So the fact that scientists have now confirmed that parakeets also struggle with this made me feel strangely validated.
A new study from the University of Cincinnati observed how monk parakeets behave when meeting unfamiliar birds for the first time. Instead of instantly forming friendships, the birds actually take their time. They approach slowly, observe each other, and try to gauge whether the vibe is right. It is the bird equivalent of hovering on the edge of a group conversation at a party to see if you should jump in or go home.
Researchers noticed that the birds do not rush into bonding behaviors such as preening or sharing space. They inch their way in with small interactions. Maybe sitting nearby, maybe leaning a little closer. They are testing the waters to see if the other bird is open to friendship or if they should respectfully back off. And honestly, that feels extremely human. As lead author Claire O’Connell explained, “There can be a lot of benefits to being social, but these friendships have to start somewhere.” That idea alone makes the whole behavior make more sense.
Things can go wrong, too. If one parakeet tries to groom another and the other is not feeling it, they might react with a little pushback or mild aggression. Nothing dramatic, just enough to say not today. O’Connell said that is part of what makes the process so interesting, noting that “what’s really fascinating about testing the waters is how intuitive it feels.” Animals seem to know when to lean in and when to pull back, even without language, and that instinct mirrors how humans handle early social interactions far more than we might admit.
Related: Empathetic Parrot Documentary Will Bring You to Tears
“What’s Really Fascinating About Testing the Waters Is How Intuitive It Feels”
Frankie Gamble/hutterstock.com
There is a whole trial period where animals decide whether someone is trustworthy before committing to a deeper bond. So if you feel like you have to warm up to people, or that friendships take time to build, you might be operating the way nature intended.
For pet owners, especially people introducing new birds or social animals, this research is surprisingly helpful. It shows that slow introductions, room to observe, and low-pressure environments make bonding easier and more natural. Friendships are rarely instant, whether you have wings or not.
If anything, this study proves that even birds get awkward about meeting new people. They hesitate, they second-guess, they inch closer, and then pretend they weren’t inching at all. It is kind of comforting to know that everyone, no matter the species, is just a little timid and trying their best not to look weird.
Maybe that means we can stop judging ourselves so much when making new connections feels clumsy. If monk parakeets can push through the awkwardness and eventually find their people, I think the rest of us have a pretty good shot too.
Related: Top 10 Best Talking Parrots You’ll Love Chatting With
This story was originally reported by PetHelpful on Nov 25, 2025, where it first appeared in the Pet News section. Add PetHelpful as a Preferred Source by clicking here.