NEED TO KNOW

• A woman shared on Reddit that her decision to host Friendsgiving at her place has spiraled into a verbal altercation with one of her friends

• The day before the event, the woman told all of her friends that no pets were allowed at the event, which one individual, Kara took offense to, saying that if her dogs weren’t allowed, she wasn’t coming

• Despite her friend declining to attend, the host still asked Kara to provide the food items she promised to bring, which subsequently spurred debate among fellow Reddit users when the situation was shared online

Navigating how to host and not hurt people’s feelings can be hard.

The 26-year-old shared in a Reddit post that this year was her turn to host Friendsgiving. She planned every aspect of it, from seating to food to decorations. The woman shared in her post that her 24-year-old friend “Kara” has two dogs that she brings everywhere, and they’re not emotional support animals.

“Normally, I’m okay with her bringing them here for a visit or two, but last year at our other friends’ house, one of her dogs snatched the dressing off the table and gobbled all of it while everyone was watching the game in the living room. I didn’t think this was very funny at the time and decided this year to make sure she can’t bring her animals to my house.”

The day before the celebration, the woman reminded all of her guests of the start time and that no pets would be included or allowed.

“Immediately, Kara messaged me and asked if that meant her dogs. I said yes, that I really preferred she not bring them because I don’t want dog hair in the food, I don’t want to be managing animals in addition to hosting, and I don’t want a repeat of last year. There was also going to be several small kids attending, so I wanted to be extra careful,” the woman wrote in her post.

The woman shared that Kara “immediately got super snarky and upset.”

“She mentioned she had no one to watch her dogs, and I said they should be fine at home by themselves for a few hours, yeah? She said no, because they had anxiety issues and need to be with her at all times. I said that’s unfortunate, but I won’t be changing the rule I set,” the woman wrote.

Kara told the woman that her dogs are family and that they behave better than most children and adults, and that the woman was purposely excluding her.

“She said that if her dogs aren’t allowed, then she’s not coming. I told her I’d be sad if she didn’t come, but the rule stands because I’m hosting this year,” the woman wrote.

The woman then asked her friend what her plans were for bringing the cake and potato salad, the food she had made, to the dinner.

“I even offered to pick it up. She then said she has zero intention of giving any food if her ‘family’ isn’t welcome. While frustrating, I just told her that’s unfortunate and that I wish she’d just be a little more understanding, and then had to scramble to find dessert and potato salad at a grocery store halfway across town to fill in,” the woman wrote in her post.

One of her friends told the woman she could have “handled it more sensitively,” and she should have let her bring the dogs because “it’s the holidays and it’s not a big deal.” In her post, the woman reaffirmed that it was a big deal to her since she’s the host.

In an update to the post, the woman shared that she had “no idea” that Kara brings her dogs everywhere and can’t leave them at home.

“Most people I know are able to leave their pets at home and do not bring them places. So that was my initial assumption. I was shocked when she told me she brings them everywhere,” the user wrote.

Many in the comments section told the woman they agreed with her decision until she asked her friend about the food she was bringing.

“You were good until you asked her to still provide food,” one person commented.

Another wrote, “It was fine to ask her not to bring the dogs. It was not fine to then basically demand she still provide you with food that you just said she wasn’t going to be there to eat that is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. The fact you went into this with any expectation you would get that food is insane.” 

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