The post The Science Behind the Pain of Losing a Beloved Pet appeared first on A-Z Animals.

Quick Take

• Losing a pet brings about similar levels of grief in us compared to how we mourn human losses.

• Our world does not have the same support systems in place for pet loss as it does for human loss.

• Roughly 21% of people who have lost both a pet and a human companion state that losing their pet was more difficult emotionally.

Earlier this year, one particular Reddit thread struck a nerve with dog owners across the country. The original poster reportedly lost their dog and asked their boss for a couple of days off to grieve. However, their request was denied, and the response from thousands of other pet owners online was immediate and clear. The grief of losing a pet is real, and the dismissal of these feelings only makes the pain more evident.

Because of this post, we felt the need to answer the question of whether or not grieving a pet’s passing is the same as grieving a human’s passing. Should we be granted the same time and space to process a beloved pet’s death as we do a human’s? Do we feel the same pain when losing a pet as we do when losing a human companion?

To understand the process of pet grief and mourning, we spoke with Dr. Joshua Russell, PhD, the Director of the Anthrozoology graduate program at Canisius University, whose doctoral dissertation was titled “On Lifetimes: Children’s Experiences of Companion Animal Death.” Because he has spent his entire career studying the human-animal bond, we knew he would have the insight we were looking for. Let’s take a look at how humans grieve the loss of their pets.

The Science and Research Behind Losing a Pet

Russell is direct about what makes pet loss so difficult for humans to deal with. “The loss of a companion animal is particularly unique because of the nature of our relationships,” he says. “They live in our homes. They are with us every day, looking for us, relying upon us for care, playing with us, helping us get exercise, increasing our dopamine and oxytocin. We rely on our pets to help us cope when we are sad or stressed. People feel that their pets are sources of unconditional love, free of judgment.”

There are also plenty of studies to back up his point. A review published in PLOS ONE found that, when a pet dies, owners can experience similar levels of grief as when a human dies. Another 2026 study found that 7.5% of people who lost a pet experienced prolonged grief disorder at a rate nearly identical to that seen after losing a close friend or grandparent. Among people who had experienced both types of loss, 21% said losing their pet was more distressing than losing a human in their life.

People feel that their pets are sources of unconditional love, free of judgment.

Dr. Joshua Russell, PhD, Director of the Anthrozoology graduate program at Canisius University

An Expert’s Take on Grieving the Loss of a Pet

Russell points to many reasons why losing a pet is as difficult as losing a human member of the family. Part of our pain comes from our sense of responsibility over them, a responsibility that is gone when our pets pass on.

“We make life and death decisions for them, and that increases our sense of responsibility for their wellbeing,” Russell says. That responsibility, alongside the guilt that follows end-of-life decisions like euthanasia, is an aspect of pet loss that rarely has a comparison in human grief.

Time is also a major contributing factor. “Depending on the pet, they can be with us through many years of our lives,” Russell notes, “often significant events like marriage, becoming parents, divorce, loss of human family members, and more.”

Why Are Some People Dismissive of Grief Over a Pet?

The term researchers use for grief that society doesn’t fully recognize is disenfranchised grief, which is one of the best ways to describe how other people may make you feel after losing a pet.

This is exacerbated by the fact that our society has very little support, both practically and emotionally, for pet loss. There is no bereavement leave or funeral home, no allowable time to properly mourn the loss of a pet. Dismissing pet grief often intensifies it, adding shame and isolation to an already heavy and lonely burden.

However, Russell’s explanation for why certain people dismiss pet loss is more considerate.

“I’m not sure that most people are dismissive of pet loss at this point in the United States, Canada, and in many countries around the world,” he says. “Nearly 90% of people with pets in the US see those pets as family, a percentage that has grown substantially in the last 25-plus years. I think the challenge is actually that people don’t know what to say or do.”

Evolving Grief Practices for Pets

Russell sees that some aspects of pet mourning are changing, and for the better. “School counselors are aware that children lose pets and may be prepared to talk to them about grief. Veterinary offices have staff who are often trained and aware of the intense grief that people feel when their companion animals pass away. A small but growing number of animal chaplains exist to help people deal with spiritual concerns around animal loss.”

He notes that the research surrounding pet loss is changing, too. “Researchers like myself are also studying this unique experience,” he says. “There are now pet funeral services, and some people may feel empowered to take off at work when their pet dies for bereavement leave, although I suspect many companies may not see this as a genuine form of bereavement. In short, I think this is rapidly changing, and more people recognize now that the loss of a companion animal is a painful one in someone’s life.”

Grief is amplified by the depth of attachment to the loved one we lost. Humans mourn the passing of their pets just as deeply as the passing of their family members, because we spend so much of our lives with them. We care for them each and every single day, even when those days are painfully numbered.

Russell says it best: “There may be human relationships that are similar in terms of the responsibility for welfare and happiness and the duty of care that we experience, and so I’m not one to compare them to humans. But for all those reasons I mentioned, the loss of a pet is particularly painful.”

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