If you’re a devoted pet parent, chances are you and your cat share a strong bond—but even the closest companions can have disagreements from time to time. Maybe you recently switched your cat’s food to something they don’t enjoy, or perhaps you introduced a new pet into your home. Changes like these can affect your cat’s mood and sometimes make it seem like your cat is holding a grudge. However, because cats communicate in differnt ways than people do, it can be hard to know for sure if your cat is upset. To help you understand your grumpy cat‘s body language and baheviors better, we rounded up 7 subtle signs your cat could be mad at you, according to experts.

While experts note that cats don’t hold grudges the same way people do, that doesn’t mean they don’t ever get in bad moods. In fact, they can still evoke emotions that may make it seem like they are mad at you when they are upset. So what causes it? “Whenever a pet owner feels like their cat is being spiteful, it’s best to consider that it can be a reaction to something else like a change in routine, stress or even a lack of trust between the owner and the cat,” Aimee Warner, DVM, resident veterinarian at Waggel explains. When that happens, it’s a good idea to consider what may have changed to promt your cat to get upset and annoyed. For example, did you recently go on vacation, move their litter pan or did they get crated for the vet? “Your cat is likely responding to these changes that are unsettling and stressful for them,” Hilary Humm-Beatty, DVM, a veterinarian consultant at Embrace Pet Insurance says. “In most cases, once their routine settles or the stress from a vet visit resolves, your cat will be back to his/her normal self.”

So, if you’re ever wondering, “Why is my cat mad at me?” just know that there are things you can look for to try to get to the bottom of the reason you cat is displaying grumpy cat behaviors. Below’s what veterinarians suggest can be subtle cat behavior signs that indicate your feline might be upset or angry at you.

Related: 7 Signs Your Cat Sees You as Their ‘Mother,’ According to Pet Behaviorists

7 Signs Your Cat is Holding a Grudge

Even the most affectionate cats can show when they’re upset, and recognizing these cat behavior signs is essential for any pet parent. Learning to interpret cat body language and following vet advice for cats can help you understand when your cat is angry at you and take steps to strengthen your bond.

They use your furniture as a scratching post

Figuring out how to tell if your cat is upset can be tricky, but one clear clue is scratching your furniture instead of their scrathing post. “Scratching furniture might indicate a cat is feeling upset and insecure,” Warner explains. By leaving their scent, cats feel more in control of their territory, even if only a little, which can be a subtle way of expressing stress, frustration, or displeasure.

Keep an eye out for more serious warning signs, such as urinating outside the litter box, which could indicate cystitis or a bladder infection. “Don’t hesitate to consult a veterinarian if you’re unsure about your cat’s behavior,” Warner advises. Recognizing destructive behavior as a cat behavior cue can help you address their needs while maintaining a happy home.

They swat at you

Cat body language can help you tell what kind of mood your cat is in. In fact, you might feel like your cat is upset with you if they randomly swat at you and give you attitude. However, there could be a few reasons for their actions. “When a cat swats at you, especially if you’re petting them, this is probably because your cat is overstimulated, upset, stressed or simply not in a petting mood,” Warner says.

They keep to themselves

Have you ever thought, “Why is my cat avoiding me?” or “Why is my cat ignoring me?” When that happens, it’s easy to assume your cat is holding a grudge, but there can actually also be more going on causing them to be grumpy. “When a cat suddenly doesn’t want anything to do with you, it’s usually because they’re stressed about something,” Warner explains.

Changes in your home, like a new pet, visitor, or sudden routine change, can make your cat feel uneasy and even upset. Feline behavior cues, such as hiding or avoiding interaction, are subtle signals that your cat may be upset, anxious, or emotionally unsettled.

They’re not interested in playing

One sign your cat is upset can be if they aren’t being playful. Don’t take it personally if your cat doesn’t want to play with you or their favorite cat toy. However, do know this is something worth paying attention to. “This cat behavior means that their emotional needs are not being met,” Warner says. “If your cat is anxious, they won’t play with you. They will always be on alert instead.”

Related: 8 Signs You Hold the Top Spot in Your Cat’s Heart, According to Vets

They flick their tail

Cats communicate with their tails alot and when a cat flicks their tail, this is a sign your cat wants some space. “Cats, by nature, have boundaries,” Warner explains. Tail flicking is one way they show they’re upset or annoyed. If you don’t watch out for this and respect their need to be left alone, this subtle cat body language can lead to escalation, including scratching or swatting. On the other hand, respecting your cat’s boundaries will help maintain trust and keep your relationship harmonious.

Cuddling is off the table

Not every cat is a cuddle lover, but if your normally snuggly feline suddenly avoids snuggles or refuses to cuddle, it could be a subtle sign your cat is upset. “If your cat isn’t cozying up like usual, they may feel their emotional needs aren’t being met,” Warner explains.

Watching for changes in your cat’s affectionate behavior, such as avoiding laps, ignoring petting, or withdrawing from interaction, can be clues that indicate your cat is annoyed, or upset with you that you might not otherwise notice. So, the next time your cat is acting spicy when you try to snuggle with them, their reaction could be because they are mad.

They don’t want treats

Who doesn’t love treats? If your feline is ignoring their favorite treats, even ones they usually adore, it could be a sign they’re stressed or upset. “If your feline is snubbing treats, even ones they typically love, they may be overstimulated or anxious,” Warner says.

Pay attention to changes in your cat’s eating habits or reluctance to respond to treats—these subtle behaviors are often a clue that your cat is upset with you. Offering patience, gentle attention, and respecting their space can help rebuild trust and strengthen your bond.

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This story was originally published by Parade Pets on Feb 21, 2026, where it first appeared in the Cats section. Add Parade Pets as a Preferred Source by clicking here.